Toxic Leadership Series: Day 1 - Lack of Empathy
Jane had always been a dedicated employee, pouring her heart and soul into her work. She thrived on challenges and was known for her unwavering commitment to her team and the projects she led. Several months ago, Jane joined a new team. She looked forward to working with her new leader, but a growing discouragement weighed on her as the days turned into months.
Her leader, David, was a man of impressive achievements and business acumen. However, a critical element was visibly absent from his leadership style: empathy. He seldom acknowledged his team's personal struggles and triumphs, often dismissing their concerns with a curt nod. Jane couldn't help but feel the stark contrast between her passion for her work and the indifference with which her leader approached the team's well-being.
As she gazed out of her office window, Jane contemplated her options. How could she navigate a work environment led by someone who seemed so emotionally disconnected from the very people driving its success? It is a question that many employees grapple to understand. Empathy - or the lack thereof - can shape the destiny of employees and organizations. Join us as we explore this critical leadership characteristic – and the strategies to cope when it's missing in your leader.
The Center for Creative Leadership (CCL) defines empathy as the ability to understand the needs of others and be aware of their feelings and thoughts. Empathy is a fundamental trait that fosters a harmonious and productive work environment. However, when leaders lack empathy, it can lead to a cascade of detrimental consequences for employees and the organization. This article will explore our series’ first toxic leadership trait – lack of empathy.
What Lack of Empathy Looks Like:
As depicted in our story about Jane, leaders who lack empathy often exhibit various behaviors. They may be dismissive of their employees' emotions, fail to acknowledge personal struggles and show an insensitivity towards the well-being of their team. They might make decisions purely based on numbers and metrics, disregarding the human aspect of their workforce. This behavior can manifest in various ways, such as not taking the time to listen, failing to provide emotional support, and showing a lack of understanding of personal or professional challenges.
Impact on Employees
The impact of a leader's lack of empathy on employees is profound. It erodes trust and morale, leading to decreased job satisfaction and motivation. Employees may feel undervalued and unheard, causing a decline in their commitment to the organization. This can result in increased turnover rates and a disengaged workforce, ultimately affecting productivity and the bottom line.
Coping With a Leader Who Lacks Empathy:
It can be challenging, but not insurmountable for employees working under a leader who lacks empathy. Here are some strategies to navigate this toxic leadership trait:
1. Document and Reflect: Record your interactions and experiences with the empathetically challenged leader. Document instances where their lack of empathy has had a significant positive or negative impact. Regularly review these insights to gain perspective into patterns of behavior and its impact on your work and well-being. This reflective practice can help you better understand the situation and make informed decisions about your career and wellbeing.
2. Professional Development and Skill Enhancement: Invest in your professional development and skill enhancement. Focus on acquiring or honing skills that can help you thrive despite the lack of empathy from your leader. This might include leadership skills, conflict resolution, or emotional intelligence training. Also, seek a mentor you can trust within and outside the organization to help you navigate the situation. Use this time to take charge of your career development, build resilience, and grow professionally.
3. Advocate for Employee Feedback Channels: Advocate for establishing formal channels for employee feedback within your organization. Encourage HR or leadership to implement regular surveys or feedback mechanisms that allow employees to anonymously express their concerns about leadership behavior. This can create a structured way to highlight the need for empathetic leadership and provide data to support change initiatives.
4. Self-Care and Boundary Setting: Prioritize self-care to manage the emotional toll of working with a leader who lacks empathy. Establish clear boundaries to protect your wellbeing. Set limits on how much emotional energy you invest in the workplace. Make time for activities that rejuvenate you outside work, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending quality time with loved ones. By focusing on self-care and boundaries, you can better cope with the challenges and maintain your personal and professional equilibrium.
What Leaders Can Do
While employees like Jane often find themselves navigating the challenges posed by leaders lacking empathy, it's essential to remember that leaders themselves can transform. Acknowledging the need for change is the first step towards a more compassionate and effective leadership style. In this section, we shift our focus from the employee perspective to explore what leaders can do to overcome their own lack of empathy and create a more empathetic and productive work environment.
If you find yourself as a leader lacking empathy, it's essential to take steps to change. Here's how you can begin your journey towards becoming a more empathetic leader:
1. Build Self-Awareness: Reflect on your actions and their impact on your team. Consider seeking feedback from trusted colleagues or a mentor who can provide insights into your leadership style. Leaders need to find people who feel safe telling them the truth. When I was promoted to Vice President of Human Resources, I found that feedback was limited. So, I made it a point to find people who were okay telling me what I needed to hear. This valuable feedback helped me reflect on my actions and how they impacted the people around me and helped improve my self-awareness. It gave me additional perspective regarding how I wanted to show up versus how I was showing up. However, most of all, it created opportunities for me to take action to fix the things that I got wrong. And as a leader, it’s essential to recognize that you will get things wrong. Create an environment that doesn’t allow you to be the emperor with no clothes. For more tips on cultivating self-awareness, check out this Harvard Business Review Article: “What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It).”
2. Develop Active Listening Skills: Practice active listening by giving your full attention to your employees. Encourage open communication and demonstrate that you value your employee’s input. CCL states that when a manager is a good listener, people feel respected, and critical trust in the team can grow. Have you ever worked for a leader who was distracted during every meeting and never gave you their full attention? How valued did that make you feel? Now consider if you do this to anyone on your team. What do you think the impact is? Not listening makes people feel devalued. You miss a valuable opportunity to connect with your people when you fail to focus on them when they share information with you. To practice active listening, remove all distractions when speaking with your employees. Turn off your phone’s notifications, cut off your computer, and go to a place that will allow you to focus on the employee. To demonstrate that you are listening, practice asking probing questions to gain a deeper understanding of what is being said and use paraphrasing to ensure you understand the information. Check out this Harvard Business Review article: “Three Ways Leaders Can Listen with More Empathy” for more tips on building your listening skills.
3. Realize it’s not about you: Putting yourself in someone else’s place and gaining a deeper perspective of what they may be going through is one of the best ways to demonstrate empathy. Leaders who make everything about them demonstrate a lack of empathy and create a toxic environment for their employees. I once had a leader who would fail to consider how decisions affected other people because they had an, “If I can make it work, then you should be able to also” mentality. This mindset failed to consider the nuances that their employees faced. Leaders who hold this view fail to acknowledge that we are not all the same and that decisions may impact us differently. Had this leader taken a step back and recognized that it wasn’t about them, they may have been more open to asking questions and demonstrating real care and concern for their people. Instead, this behavior created anxiety and a feeling that decisions would be made without considering how it would impact the team personally. How do you ensure that you are not making it all about you? Great question! You show that you care by prioritizing employee wellbeing. For a deeper dive into ensuring you are making “it” about your employees and not about you, check out this article by Business.com: “Here’s What Employees Actually Want From a Leader.”
The Wrap Up
A lack of empathy in leadership can harm employees and the organization. It erodes trust, reduces morale, and can hinder productivity. To help leaders build empathy, self-reflection and a commitment to personal growth are essential steps toward becoming a more empathetic and effective leader. In our next installment of the toxic leader series, we will explore another damaging behavior in leadership and strategies to address it.
